Why men should never date (or marry) single mothers.
History
Let’s get this one out of the way. I can already hear the cacophonous females squawking in response to this post with their ideological responses… “who hurt you?,” “clearly you’re not man enough to date a single mother,” “I bet he doesn’t get any pussy…” on and on. Notice how their responses all revolve around sex, emotion and there’s no logic, accountability or self-reflection?
I dated a single mother for 4+ years, building a fantastic relationship with her children (who were wonderful). It was the most painful thing in my life to separate from them, but the alternative was literally death.
So when I write what you’re about to read… LISTEN. It comes from both theory AND experience (long and short term dating as well as many first dates).
I’ve watched women intensely for a VERY long time, realizing in High School that they were NOT the stories we’re sold. These fairy tales are not just NOT true, but in many ways – the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what women are and how they behave.
So let’s get to the meat of this post…
Why men should NEVER date or marry single mothers.
Reason #1 Not to Date a Single Mother – She’s a Mess & Makes POOR Decisions
There’s no better way to put this, and I promise in the words to come it will be thoroughly and fundamentally PROVEN – but virtually every single mother is a complete internal (and often external) mess.
We don’t even have to look at the prescription rates of anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, therapy, or self-help among women 25+ (and their skyrocketing rates) however they complete support this same line of thought. But, at it’s core, this (the deplorable state of women) is much more evidenced by simply LOOKING at and ANALYZING what’s going on.
The real question to ask is – what makes a woman a single mother?
Obviously a child or children, but abstractly it’s simply this – SHE MAKES HORRIBLE DECISIONS. It doesn’t matter WHY. In fact, caring too much about WHY will leave you homeless and drug addicted as you continually allow sociopaths and psychopaths the agency to walk all over you.
“Well it’s because she was abused.”
It doesn’t matter. What matters are her actions. What are those actions?
She either got knocked up by the wrong man. Or got knocked up by the RIGHT man, and left him. In either case… her mind is diseased and a poor template for a woman (not raised correctly around a loving father that directly or indirectly vetted her relationship choices).
Are there some cases where there was true physical abuse that needed to be avoided? Sure. However, overwhelmingly that is NOT the case, and IN FACT many women KNOW THIS INSTINCTIVELY and will LIE about the reason they’re single. I have been told by many women on dates their husband passed away, was abusive, etc. etc. – only to find out that – in truth it was the woman’s decision to leave. There was no abuse. Her ex husband is not dead – and is drowning in the legal proceedings she’s brought against him.
A healthy woman is able to bring a child into the world, with a great man (yes even a paltry small income man that works hard) and is able to see in her child’s eyes the love they have for their father, and do WHATEVER it takes to keep that man, raise her child properly and keep the spark alive in their relationship, in order to maintain her family. ANYTHING else is generally (99%) the woman’s fault.
As an aside roughly 90% of all divorces are filed by women – it’s NOT men that are ending relationships and causing these issues. This is in part because it is NOT men that are being propagandized 24/7 by this faux women’s empowerment movement that is convincing women that the grass is greener or that their husbands normal, boundary-setting dominance is instead “abuse.”
Reason #2 Not to Date a Single Mother – Your Attachment to the Children is Powerful
When entering into a relationship with a single mother there’s no way to NOT have a relationship with their children. Having done this myself, I literally was CONVINCED I didn’t care for her children – at least not to a point that would ever obscure the correct decision to make in the relationship (for myself, and for us collectively). That gets thrown out the window when you become intertwined with a woman with children.
Additionally, since a) the overwhelming majority of women END relationships and b) you are not legally tied to the children in any way, women will generally wield your relationship with the children as a tool to both manipulate you, and in the case of the end of a relationship she will PREVENT you from having an ongoing and loving relationship with the children – no matter what she may say during the relationship.
Obviously, doing this is detrimental to her children and their healthy connections and relationships with men. But, in all my years (with one exception – more below) have I heard of a woman allow the man she was formerly dating to continue to have a relationship with her children. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. They rip their children from their men’s loving arms as a tool to maximize pain regardless of consequence (again – they make BAD decisions).
So the question here fundamentally comes down to – it’s ALL or nothing with single mothers. Either you go in KNOWING she’s the most amazing woman in the world – or you risk fucking up your own life (having children ripped from you is literally one of the worst pains one can experience in life) AND fucking up her children’s lives. The best way to win this game is to not play at all.
(Ironically, the exception I mentioned above is for a woman that was so enamored with me, she asked to move her and her children to me, after two dates – from a few states away. Her ex boyfriend had adopted her daughters. She was willing to rip them from this gift he had given her with zero thought. One daughter was totally unaware she was conceived by another man and fully thought this man was her father. I obviously put a stop to that… see item #1.)
Reason #3 Not to Date a Single Mother – You Never Come First
In a healthy relationship you and your wife or girlfriend should be #1 in each others’ lives. With single mothers that is literally never the case. In fact, it will be weaponized against you in many ways. We all know women hate accountability, now they have the greatest excuse in the world for missed events, lateness, dropped responsibilities.
And when it comes to the things YOU want… or you DESERVE (it IS a relationship after-all)… the children will come first, and be used as an excuse why you’re not getting those things you may want or require from your woman (love, attention, time, physical touch, etc. etc.). Taking a back seat to the children, although understandable, is not something any man should be put a position.
Now, let’s look at this from a woman’s point of view – this makes total sense. In fact, I know many men with children who report their wives are disconnected after giving birth – especially in years 0-5. This makes total sense. Children are a lot of work. Young children are literally trying to kill themselves constantly and would DIE without an adult around 24/7 to feed, water, and clean them. But the problem is – with this going on, where is the space for the man? There really isn’t one. This is one of the big commitments and responsibilities a man must take on in a marriage and in having children. Taking care of his wife and child(ren) with little or no reward for some period. Sure, a great wife will do as much as she can to make sure her man is encouraged to take care of business, but this dynamic is completely GONE with single mothers, yet she STILL has the responsibility to take care of her children.
The question is really… considering you need to take care of your children (have a job), day care, etc. – where do I fit in? The truth is you don’t at all. And I even AGREE you shouldn’t come first (the children do) – but the question then is WHY IS THIS WOMAN DATING IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Reason #4 Not to Date a Single Mother – Coordinating Schedules is a Nightmare
As a currently single man that is lucky enough to have been very successful, I have a pretty flexible schedule. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I’ve decided to maybe even re-consider a single mother – she proves that coordinating schedules with a single mother is a nightmare (similar to #3). They will snap at you for being inconsiderate when you take initiative and plan a date (even if you pay for a sitter), then not respond when you try to coordinate alongside them and when called out or asked for simple ADULT accountability, again snap at you and deflect to the children.
You’re literally damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
Reason #5 Not to Date a Single Mother – Something is TERRIBLY Wrong with them Mentally & Emotionally
A healthy woman, with children, particularly young children, should NOT be dating. Not only SHOULD SHE NOT BE DATING, but it literally makes no sense when you reason or apply logic to the situation. I got to thinking about this, when I started seeing a lot of pregnant women on dating sites (which is abhorrent and shouldn’t even be necessary to say, but only a few years ago single mothers were disgusting, but now they’re worshipped so feel it is necessary to underscore this).
Think about it – if a woman is single, she needs to be providing for her children. How is she doing this? There’s really only a handful of ways… either a) she’s getting money from her ex, which is a dangerous position for any new man to be entering into b) she’s working c) a combination of both d) or she uses sex with men for money (this is FAR more common than people realize – either direct sex or digital sex).
No matter the scenario, none is ideal.
She is either taking advantage (in the VAST MAJORITY of cases) of the laws that are pro-women and anti-men when it comes to alimony and child support, or working, and simultaneously raising children – which leaves no time for a man. Again, none of the actual possibilities that lead to this, or facilitate this are ideal for any man in any relationship.
By breaking down the above possibilities one realizes that there is NO reason/time for a woman to be dating and she’s chosen a life for herself and for her children that is orders of magnitude more difficult than nearly any scenario she was previously in (in the relationship with the man she was impregnated by). Are there some exceptions (IE actual physical abuse, drug abuse/use?) sure, but the VAST majority of cases are not that, they’re just headstrong, non-thinking women who make poor decisions, and continually reaffirm that by THEN trying to find a man AFTER they have children.
Reason #6 Not to Date a Single Mother – It’s an Inverted Hierarchy
Another thing that isn’t immediately clear to single guys looking at potentially dating a hot single mother the relationship dynamic is inverted. This was hinted at in the previous sections, but the children come first, then her, then the man. In a conventional household it’s man first, then woman – taking your lead as a man, and trusting in you, and then the woman taking care of YOUR children.
With any child – especially by 2+ – the rules and boundaries that must be created and enforced by it’s parents, aren’t going to be able to be properly created and enforced by an outside partner. Period.
Women will not bow down to any outside man when it comes to THEIR children. MODERN WOMEN STRUGGLE WITH THIS WITH THE FATHER OF THEIR CHILDREN! You think you’re gonna be different?
And then, even if some kind of standard is setup, it’s the woman (their mother) who has to enforce it – not the man – which is the incorrect order. This enables a number of long-term perverted views on the world.
I don’t know any man who is truly happy NOT leading his relationship. Sure, some do this (date single moms, let the woman lead), because of character flaws and parental challenges that damaged their spirits and psyches, but it’s simply a matter of they haven’t overcome them yet. They are clearly angry, bitter, bitchy about the situation.
Reason #7 – It’s Not Your Blood, It’s Literally The Woman’s and Other Man’s Responsibility
There’s something about having your own children, particularly if you’re a man that is considering a girlfriend with a daughter. There are a lot of things we all know or feel (as long as one hasn’t been totally propagandized) that can take time or experience to fully realize. When I was young, I truly bought into the nonsensical global warming narrative (It was jammed down my throat for decades, and is propagandized everywhere) and that therefore led me to believe that raising other people’s children would be a noble pursuit. In 99% of cases, it’s not. It’s self-aggrandizing and self-denial bullshit brought on by childhood trauma and fueled by systems that are constantly lying to you. But, after waking up, doing my own research and study I realized – holy shit, this stuff is nonsense.
There are all kinds of things like that when it comes to male/female dynamics. One such thing came to a head for me, when I noticed I had a better emotional connection/relationship with my girlfriend’s daughter, than with my girlfriend. It’s ultimately why I left. And she was about to hit puberty, and I realized the potential challenges of a sexualy mature young woman hanging around a man that wasn’t her father.
This also elucidated the fact that ANY woman with a daughter should NEVER bring a man around her until she’s older than 18. It’s not your blood! There’s always the possibility of sexual chemistry AND we all know women hate accountability. Combine those two catalysts and it’s easy to see how dangerous that kind of situation is – and ironically women NEVER bring this up.
Additionally, you have every right as a man, to demand that any offspring you end up taking care of, be your own blood. Anything else is frankly disgusting on a truly guttural, biological level. I have no desire to raise anyone else’s children or pick up the slack for any one else’s short comings – least of all some slag that slept around and makes poor life choices.
Again, the problem with another man in a woman’s life with children is you’re (in some ways) usurping the primary father figure, but you cannot truly fulfill that requirement, you’re not her blood. You’re literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Reason #8 Why Not to Date a Single Mother (or any Woman Older Than You Ever) – No Respect, and You’re a Glorified Teddy Bear
You’ll never earn her respect. I think intrinsically (despite a need for satisfaction and a quelling of their loneliness) women KNOW that single mothers are inherently value-less. You coming along and trying to white-knight the situation simply proves that you are in fact not a man of high value, high morals, or able to correctly assess things. As such, even subconsciously you will NEVER have her respect. By the mere fact of dating them, you lose their respect. And they’ll chip away through all of the above examples until you’re a hollow shell of man, and your literally lifeless body is tossed for the next bigger loser (I know TOO MANY temporary step-fathers who developed cancer).
Glorified Teddy Bear – women, particularly older women, or women in compromised situations like single mothers, are no longer actually interested in a man (like a healthy, young, single women), instead her priorities have shifted into the following realities – money, safety and entertainment.
Single mothers by their nature are looking for help with their children.
Trust me here, I dated a supposed “multi-millionaire” – guess who ended up paying the mortgage, paying for home repairs, paying for groceries, etc.? Yup, me. And it was before I was worth millions myself.
Finally, once that is satisfied (money to an extent where between her own earnings and your contributions make her feel somewhat secure) you’ll mostly become a resource for entertainment and attention – nothing more (and this is complicated with online dating and instagram).
This dynamic again plays into the inverted hierarchy where you no longer have a woman that is trying to get the best out of the man she loves, helping to fan his flames as you CONQUER THE FUCKING WORLD FOR HER AND YOUR CHILDREN, but instead you’re relegated to the role of a teddy bear – a useless tool for sex, companionship and a cheap psychologist… but ultimately disposable, and she’s definitely not the tool men often need to push themselves and grow in the world.
This inversion – where women effectively infantilize men, keeping them as Peter Pan’s, is absolutely found in relationships with older women (in part because older attractive women, are generally only attracted to hot men, who could just as easily pull young women), so they literally keep men infantilized so they don’t end up growing up and wanting a family or conquering the world.
(This dynamic is also at play with older women and younger women, one which I’ll expose in future posts.)
So what ARE the reasons to date a single mother? The only thing I can think of is to date above your threshold (hotter women). But ultimately the case above outlines the hellish nightmare even that is – so what? Just lay a hot woman? But that’s soulless and lowers her value even MORE – so at the end of the day it’s NOT really an option.
So how do you play a game you can’t win? You don’t. Stay the fuck away from single mothers. And the more we do this as men, stand up for what we know is right, the more reality will correct this mistake and women will realize what they’ve done is damning.